Of three things I was absolutely certain. First, Sherlock Holmes was a gay man. Second, there was a part of him, and I wasn’t sure how dominant that part might be, that “hungered” for me. And third, I was unconditionally, irrevocably in love with him.
Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”
Omfg
MY TIME HAS COME
so you’d need a bouquet of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing.
im no Florist but I thought I’d try my hand at such a beautiful gift of absolute loathing
let’s be honest though, millennial hate is totally a thing rich folks started because they’re pissed that we have really unpredictable consumer habits and it isn’t as easy to get us to buy into stuff, so they’re mad we aren’t just money giving/traditional economy supporting machines like they expected us to be
like look at how much millennial hate articles are things like “millennials aren’t eating cereal and it’s hurting the cereal industry” or “millennials aren’t buying houses and that’s bad” or “millennials #1 utmost priority isn’t trying to make as much money as possible” and rich folks are mad about it, so just posturing our unpredictability/nontraditional values as “laziness” gets everyone else on board the hate train in some weird attempt to collectively subdue us
“You are Doing Capitalism Wrong and it scares me” – bitter Boomers to Millennials who are not buying into their shit (or buying their shit)
I hate hate HATE all those 2edgy 4me theories about kids shows. Like Angelica dreaming up the rugrats, or the ed, edd, and eddy children being ghosts, or literally anything that takes a lighthearted and fun kids show and has to turn it into some tragic take of rape or murder or misinformed mental illness.
So you know what? From now on I’m gonna do the exact opposite. Every cool grim-dark show is now because of a bunch of children. To get us started:
Game of Thrones: A middle-school DnD campaign with the most angry, vindictive DM who has promised to kill everyone’s player characters (and their family) by the end.
The Walking Dead: Some 13 year olds playing with nerf guns, but trying to be really serious about it because they’re all self conscious about playing with toys.
Breaking Bad: a teacher gave a kid some confiscated rock candy and now they’re fantasizing about his personal life.
*blesses you all for this*
Supernatural: a couple tween goth girls RPing with their OCs
Orphan Black: A girl has way too many identical barbie dolls, and makes them over instead.
Firefly: group of white suburbia kids can’t agree whether they want to play cowboys, Star Trek, pirates, or ninjas.
Blade: revenge fantasy of a tiny angry black girl shunned by a group of Twilight fangirls.
IT GOT BETTER.
warehouse 13: two kids dream up stories behind weird stuff in an antique shop
American Horror Story: a group of kids make up their own horror stories after their parents decide they’re too young to watch scary movies on TV.
NBC’s Hannibal: A snarky vegan teenager writes a series of short stories for her creative writing class about the evils of eating meat (Freddie Lounds is her self-insert, which is why she avoids eating human flesh by being a vegetarian.)
House of Cards: A junior high student council member telling his grandma how he spent the school year.
Asexuals are confused. Bisexuals are confused. Pansexuals are confused. Homosexuals are confused. Heterosexuals are confused. Everyone is confused as to why you think you should have a say about a relationship that doesn’t involve you.
this ended so nicely.
And also how to do taxes. We’re confused about how to do taxes too.
your early 20s is super weird because i know a girl who works for the UN and knows classified america secrets but i also know a dude whos middle name on facebook is ‘kush’
whimsysmayhem 