loudest-subtext-in-television:

loudest-subtext-in-television:

is there a gifset of the parallels of John and Sherlock sarcastically flirting with armed goons to throw them off-kilter?

I mean in ASiB when Sherlock says, “Do you want me on my knees, too?” and in HLV when John says, “Doesn’t mean I’m not pleased to see you.”

totally straight stuff, should be documented

Imagine Moriarty’s goons trading stories about all the times John or Sherlock sarcastically flirted with them.

Goon A: “And so I told him if he didn’t stop running his mouth, I was gonna stick him!”

Goon B: “What did he say?”

Goon A: “‘We’ve only just met.’ I swear he was really flirting!”

Goon B: “Oh yeah, Holmes’ll do that. But it’s the little one you’ve–”

Goon A: “I’m gettin’ to that! So I goes to stab him but that tiny guy, his boyfriend or whatever –”

Goon B: “Boss says it isn’t like that.”

Goon A: “– bodyguard, he comes up behind me –”

Goon B: “I seen boss kill a man for saying that.”

Goon A: “– grabs me, jabs a gun in my back, and he says, ‘Got anything for me?’”

Goon B: “What’d you do?”

Goon A: “Well I couldn’t do nothin’, y’see, on account of the gun. But my point is Holmes starts laughin’ –”

Goon B: “Hate that prick.”

Goon A: “And he says, ‘Calm down. He’s barely got anything for me,’ and you know what he means, right? I mean, ice pick and all, he’s thinks he’s real funny. So I says, ‘I’ve killed men with ice picks before –’”

Goon B: “Fine weapon.”

Goon A: “And the little one goes, ‘They were faking it.’ He’s meant to be a doctor, you know? He knows they can kill people, fucker was just making fun of me. And then they both start laughin’ up a storm!”

Goon B: “Unprofessional.”

Goon A: “So I says, ‘It won’t be so funny when you’re on the ground,” and –“

Goon B: “Oh no.”

Goon A: “Not my finest moment, but. It was unsettlin’, alright? And Holmes just looks at me, with this stupid smirk on his face. He holds out his arms and says, ‘Go on, then: *stick me.*’ And he said it just like that, you hear it?”

Goon B: “I hear it.”

Goon A: “With that innuendo in it? Said it just like that.”

Goon B: “I believe it.”

Goon A: “Did this… thing… with his mouth, when he said it. You know what I mean?”

Goon B: “Like when a woman flirts with you.”

Goon A: “Blatant! In front of his boyfriend and everything!”

Goon B: “Don’t say that around boss.”

Goon A: “And I tells ya… even if there hadn’t been a gun on me, I don’t think I couldda stuck him. Not after that.”

Goon B: “That’s why he did it.”

Goon A: “I don’t think so. I think he really wanted to get stabbed.”

Goon B: “It’s dishonorable, is what it is. Makin’ us uncomfortable. Real men don’t fight that way.”

Goon A: “He seemed sincere.”

Goon B: “He wasn’t into you.”

Goon A: “I think he was. So his partner or whatever is snickering, he’s got his gun on me, I can’t stab a man who’s gonna get off on it, what else could I do?”

Goon B: “You try to run.”

Goon A: “Had me handcuffed in under a minute.”

Goon B: “’Holmes always has handcuffs.’”

Goon A, nodding: “’Holmes always has handcuffs.’ So I’m lyin’ there in the middle of the canned goods aisle and his bodyguard leans in and asks, ‘Was it good for you?’”

Goon B: “It was good for him. That I’d believe.”

Goon A: “You think it’s a kind of…?”

Goon B: “I seen boss kill a man for speculating.”

Goon A: “… with those two…?”

Goon B: “Not speculating.”

Goon A: “But you think the little one was into me.”

Goon B: “I think it was good for him.”

Goon C, breaking his silence: “Once I was picking a lock and Holmes snuck up and whispered, ‘Don’t twist it so hard. Have some finesse.’ Went straight down my spine.”

Goon B: “Dishonorable.”

Goon A: “I think he liked you.”